An Abduction Gone Wrong
by Jadespade
Summary: When Allan and Tom kidnap Baby!Tintin for a ransom, they have no idea what they got themselves into.


The leaves rustled in the autumn wind as a car came to a stop in front of an old mansion. Two dark figures entered and crept silently up the stairs, the rest of the household blissfully unaware of their presence. They tiptoed past a room, where booming snores could be heard. The boss reached the last room and opened the door slowly, wincing as it let out a loud creaking sound. The two men felt like trapped mice as they stood very still, not daring to breathe as the snoring suddenly stopped. They relaxed again when it continued. That had been too close for comfort.

The baby's room had a large bookshelf and a pile of toys in the corner. In the center was a barred crib, and both men jumped when they saw that the baby was awake and standing, leaning against the bars for support. His wide blue eyes stared up at them with unnatural intelligence as he sucked his slobbery thumb. It was like the baby had been waiting for them. "It's giving me the creeps, boss." the taller man said as he backed away from the crib.

Allan, the boss, sighed, although the black cloth of his disguise muffled the sound. "You are _not _telling me you are scared of a baby, Tom." he said, although frankly the baby was a bit unnerving to him too.

"N-no boss."

"Good. Get the baby, leave the ransom, and let's get out of here before the Captain wakes up."

The boy did not object as he was lifted gently out of the crib by the stranger. Instead, the baby giggled and grabbed Tom's nose and tweaked it. The man cried out as he stumbled backwards, knocking over the bookshelf with a loud crash. There was a muffled yell of "Blistering barnacles, what is going on here!" Allan cursed as he grabbed Tom's arm and ran out of the room. At the same time Captain Haddock burst out of his room and crashed into them. They stared at each other for a moment until Allan reacted first by knocking him out with a swift blow to the head. The baby's laughter turned to wails as he saw his father crumple to the ground, unconscious. The boy bit his carrier's thumb as hard as he could with his single tooth, making Tom shriek in pain.

The kidnappers flew down the stairs and saw Nestor race over to the phone to call the police. Allan pointed his gun at the butler and said gruffly, "You call the police, you're dead." Nestor nodded as he backed away from the phone, his hands raised. He helplessly watched as the black car sped away into the night.

* * *

"It was an accident, boss, I didn't mean to-"

"DID I HIRE YOU TO MAKE MISTAKES, TOM?" Allan yelled in anger, his knuckles white as they clutched the steering wheel. Tintin was still shrieking hysterically and waving his small arms desperately in the air. "AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE, SHUT THAT BABY UP!"

"Should I spank it, boss?" Tom said in a thick voice.

Allan groaned. "NO! THIS IS NOT A SIX YEAR OLD, THIS IS A SIX MONTH OLD! USE YOUR HEAD TOM!"

"What do I do?"

"I DON'T KNOW, JUST GET THE BABY TO SHUT UP! I WANT PEACE AND QUIET!"

Wiping the baby's hot tears off his face did nothing. Rocking the baby did nothing. Singing off-key to the baby did nothing. Giving the baby an unlit cigar to play with did nothing. Feeding the baby with formula did nothing. Shoving a pacifier in the baby's mouth did nothing. Holding the baby's mouth shut did nothing. Threatening the baby did nothing. Telling the baby a story about a boy who was thrown out of a car because he wouldn't shut up did nothing. Finally, after several hours of screaming, the baby stopped and fell asleep, exhausted. Tom sighed in relief and wiped away the spilt milk and slobber off his clothes.

Allan turned on the radio and found a news station. "...At about one in the morning, two men in black snuck into the house and kidnapped a six month old boy by the name of 'Tintin'. They knocked out his father, Captain Archibald Haddock, and threatened the butler with a gun before escaping in a black Ford. Police still do not know why this kidnapping occurred..."

Allan turned the volume down, his body shaking in silent fury. He breathed deeply. "Tom," he said in a low voice so that Tintin wouldn't wake up again, "did you even remember to leave the ransom note?"

"Um..."

Allan stopped the car with a jolt and banged his head repeatedly against the steering wheel, cursing. Tintin woke up, but to the kidnappers' relief he didn't start crying again. "Tom? You stay in the car and watch the baby. You can do at least that, right?" Tom nodded. "I have to make a phone call." Allan said as he got out of the car. There was a phone booth nearby and he dialed a number.

"Hello? Whom shall I say is calling?" Nestor's voice asked.

"I thought I told you not to call the police." Allan replied in his most threatening voice possible.

There was a slight pause. "You told _me _not to call the police. But I didn't. Master Haddock called the police after I woke him up."

_That smart ass. _Allan thought to himself. "I want Captain Haddock on the phone."

There was a few moments of silence. Allan held the phone from his ear as he heard Captain Haddock scream, "YOU BASHI-BAZOUK! GANGSTER! IF YOU'VE HARMED ONE HAIR ON TINTIN'S HEAD, I'LL, I'LL, I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL TEAR YOU APART, LIMB BY LIMB, AND THEN I'LL FEED YOUR SORRY REMAINS TO THE SHARKS, YOU ECTOPLASM!"

Allan chuckled. "Relax, Tintin's fine. But he won't be if you don't do as I say. I want a million pounds by midnight tomorrow. Leave the bags on your front porch. If police are in the area, the boy will have a nice, smoking hole through his head. So if you want your precious wonder boy to stay alive, you'd better listen to me, got it?"

He could detect tears in the Captain's voice as he replied, "Of course. A million pounds it is."

"Good." Allan said smiling. He loved it when he had people under his control. Captain Haddock would do anything just to get Tintin back. "Tintin is at my complete mercy right now, and you don't want to make me 'accidentally' press the trigger at him, now do we?"

"YOU SON OF A-" Allan hung up, laughing. Everything was going as planned. By midnight tomorrow, he would be a rich man.


End file.
